"What is the goal of this page?"

To make you mad! AHAHAHAH! Are you mad yet? Are ya? Huh? HUH?! YOU SHOULD BE!!!

"What is your basis for picking the pages you choose as the best?"

Well, first we see who has offers us the most money. If that doesn't work, we'll just pick one of our good friend's sites. Can't go wrong with those!

"Why do you sometimes criticize the good pages?"

No matter how pretty a page looks, it will never compare to ours, so we must do what we can to help the rest of the needy SM net community.

"Do you contact the owners whose pages you reviewed?"

Of course. It's an added bonus to get an e-mail from us after we have been so gracious to also review your page. Nothing makes us happier than to bring joy to some unworthy soul. *sniff* As long as we get equal joy in the form of money. And well, as for those bad sites... nothing makes us happier than to publicly ridicule some unworthy soul. *sniff*

"What if I don't like my review?"

You are obviously not worthy of association with us and should be "banishéd!"

"Will you give assistance to the pages you reviewed?"

Yes. We suggest that they use our beautiful page as inspiration. It's perfection at its finest. And then we tell them to go to Hell.

"What kind of computers do you use during reviews?"

Ones better and faster than yours, I assure you. Yours is pathetically slow. I bet it took you an entire two days to load this page, and you only saw two inches of it. You suck.

"Who are you underneath these fake identities?"

The goddesses of all that is spiffy, benefactors to those who are worthy, patron saints of egotism.

"Do you frequent any chat rooms?"

Yes, but only for official government business. We are secretly spies who are out to turn you in for not paying for that parking ticket way back when. Watch your back, we're onto you!

"Do you ever post messages to forums or sign people's guestbooks?"

Yes, but we have an incredibly steep appearance fee. Would you like us to visit yours? For an additional cost, we might say something.

"Why don't you make your own 'regular' SM Pages?"

Regular? We prefer diet and caffeine free. But hold the fat free and sugar free, those have no flavor.

"Why do you link to the lame pages?"

So you can go see them, DUH!! You moron, what's the point of ridiculing them if you can't look at them for yourselves?

"Will you link to mine?"

If your site sucks enough to be one of the lamest, yes; if you bribe us enough to be one of the best, yes. Otherwise... no, of course not!

"What did you use to make this page?"

Well, first we tried a box of crayons and paper, but after Cooan tried to eat the crayons and Beruche got a paper cut, we decided to stick to HTML.

"Anything else I should know about you?"

Our word is law. Loyal followers shall be rewarded by having the opportunity to hear more of our divine word. Those that disagree shall be punishéd.